A few days of my life...

day-to-day story

2006-01-24T14:27:00.000+01:00

Ok. I've renamed the blog again. I think it's quite hard to pick the name with I could feel good. However perhaps this one would be good enough. I keep the 'willingness' for a rainy day.

Willingness

2006-01-24T01:15:00.000+01:00

Well... I was playing with different names for my blog. I found plenty of nice blogs in that way. It was quite amazing and very creative to invent a good name ('agoodname' also tested) and then to find out what someone has done with another great title. However it was quite weary indeed.
Ok. I think the 'Willingness' is OK. It's also a good and brief description of my personality. Sometimes I think the willingness is my power. Of course I am lazy. I'm not self-organized. My room is hardly tidy and I'm not always shaved. But in fact I can find a huge willingness in me. The will is my power, and I can overcome a lot of problems to be or to get someone/something I want to. I realized there is no limit. The only limit I have is in my mind. Like everything else. Once you become really aware of this idea - you win the battle.
I can better explain it. When I was a child I was told I haven't knack for music. I was unable to sing or to play an instrument at all. They said I hadn't got an ear for music. I believed that. I also believed other things my parents or teachers used to say. So I was poor for math, I have no skill for drawing or painting. Perhaps it sounds weird but I thought it was true. But it wasn't of course. However the years have passed until I discovered I had been misled.
I tried everything I was told I had no skill to. I became in sequence: a photographer (I was studying it), a painter and graphics designer (I was a founder member of an advertising agency where I was a web and graphics designer), a musician and a composer (I write music works for years and play electric guitar). As to the music I became really devoted to it. In a certain moment of life music was all I was seeing - all my future. Next, I was good at maths and all science. And the computer science was my passion from the very first childhood. I loved all things with a screen and keys as a child: calculators, electronic wristwatches, first Atari, then first i386 and so on. I was really good at logics so the programming was easy for me. I started with Atari Basic, then tried Turbo Basic and Pascal on PC. Now, I'm studying IT and becoming a programmer. A really good one I hope.
But I understood that I can be whatever I want to. And it's not something special. It's not a gift as to the chosen one. The only barrier is the willingness. If I had chosen music I would have been a good musician or composer. If I had chosen an art school I would have become a good painter or drawer. I've tried also poetry and writing, etc.
What's really curious I'm not a genius. Everyone has the same brain. More or less of course but the dissimilarities are insignificant in my opinion. The same body means the same ability. Everything but this is in the mind. And the willingness is the solution on how to get to it.

2006-01-23T16:24:00.000+01:00

Well... I've done it finally. I sent it yesterday to my teacher.
I don't have much time at the moment. Everybody wants me to make dinner.
Maybe bacause I decided to make some special polish cakes known here as 'racuchy'.
A brainwave: I always get not enough time (and hate planning therefore).

2006-01-22T02:31:00.000+01:00

Oh, I'm so tired now. I was doing my homework from Computer Architecture. It's not done yet. I have to continue my work tomorrow morning. Gosh... About five exercises ahead.

At the new year beginning almost every paper is concerning itself with a saving money issue. Well I began thinking about it. I'm going to carry some old advises of The Independent into effect like to pay off all my debts. Next I'll be looking for something like an investment fund, a joint stock one. I'm not sure of all this stock wording. I'm completely new to this. But, sooner or later, I probably become more familiar with.

2006-01-20T22:17:00.000+01:00

Another nice evening. My wife's browsing through auctions with prams. I'm not sure what does it mean... But after all I think she rather enjoys beeing with me if she's thinking about another one baby. However I'm not ready yet but I think about it sometimes too. And about things I need to have completed before. About school to leave and a job to get. And that outstanding: must be the best..
As to the job (or learning) I'm playing with events in C# 2.0. I'll try to explain a project issue I've got today. Please forgive me if you aren't a programmer or a software engineer. Mama said it's always good to be kind even it's my own diary after all;).

Well, let's say I have two classes: A and B. The first one contains a collection of objects of B. They both contain event handlers and are allowed to raise some events if their state has changed. The class A has also some methods to generate and add objects of class B. In this model the user is rather not supposed to create objects of B directly. The question is what to do with events of B. Should I add delegates by design to event handlers of automatically created objects of B? Then should I expose them somehow to the user in A? Or should I let him to get to those events in another way?
Or there is something wrong with responsibility of classes A and B. Perhaps those methods for automatic creation of B instances are wrong and unnecessary. I have to read about design patterns anyway. The one solution I have now is to return the created and added B instance as a method result. Then the user will have a reference and will be allowed to add his own event handlers directly. But I still have a premonition it's not good enough. And that B instances should be created by their constructors and exposed to the user more openly.
If you perhaps are a programmer or a software engineer or just you know things I was writing about I'll appreciate your feedback very much. You may just leave it as a comment. I know I can ask on a Usenet group or a forum. It's quite possible I'll seize that opportunity if no more luck.

2006-01-20T14:25:00.000+01:00

Writing gives me a pleasure. You may look at your work and think of how it's growing and growing. It doesn't so important what you're writing: a poem, a novel, a blog, a computer program, a music work... The feeling of a pleasure is the same. The positive feeling of an author, of a creator even. Such good feeling as I have now. I want to put it here. I'm just writing a program and handling events in .NET.

It's interesting how we become stronger, more experienced, better in a sense by making things in our way. The rise of our self-rating. The brighter future ahead.
The obvious truth is we sense the world by feelings. The art is to make our feelings so bright we can sense better. Feel better and work better. And therefore reach more and more. Other trick is to handle with all failures we would have. Just by keeping feelings bright as nothing wrong happens. Therefore they're teaching us not to think about a defeat but to take it as a new experience. I must admit it works for me. Yet the world's still the same and in the same way it's independent of my feelings both good or bad.
The point is just the art of taking things as what they are indeed. I wish I remember that.

2006-01-19T19:48:00.000+01:00

Today my wife asked me to take a photo of her. I've taken some shots and a few of them are quite nice like that one I published here. She's so pretty... It's good to be fallen in love with own wife for nearly four years. Sometimes I see other couples and I think we had won ourselves in a draw. I love to be with her. Even if she has a bad mood which means a very bad mood full of sharpness. I found it so good to be together so I ask myself sometimes how was it possible I was a lone wolf for all those years..

We've got a bed today. We ordered it a week or more ago when we were renovating our two rooms. The salesman told us the bed would be ready within a month or more. And suddenly he called me today and asked if might it be at five o'clock PM. I said OK and they supplied me it about four PM. And there it is. Almost all room is very nice now. Just my wife has to repaint a small table into a mahogany one. Perhaps I would take some photos of the room and put it here.

Guess what? I'll tell you a story about the police in my town. Yesterday about 10PM the special troop for prevention of organized crime knocked to door of a pair of teachers, she and he both in middle age. They said the police - please open! She answered the door and they rushed into the flat and get her and her husband face to the wall. Then they started searching and handcuffing them. The couple was shocked. What's up? What's going on? Have you got a warrant or something? Shut up they said. The husband tried to turn back and then one of those brave police troopers hit him so strong he lost consciousness. That was a problem. They called an ambulance but they didn't want allow the doctor get to the patient for two hours. When they did he was just allowed to quick look on the husband lying on the floor. Then the couple has been arrested and hold for twenty-four hours. They have been released just about a two hours ago. He has damaged his backbone. She has plenty of bruises - all shoulders and hands with deep red stripes after the handcuffs.
Are you wonder what was the reason of this? He's resemble to a criminal. That's all. No apologies, no regrets. It was just a mistake.

2006-01-18T21:42:00.000+01:00

It's my very first post. Silly, in my Polish blog I stated I was no good in writing. I thought I wasn't good enough so I've changed it to a photoblog. I was thinking I'm a better photographer than a writer. Now it's not important so I don't care. And I won't be so perfect I tried to be in the past. I don't have to be perfect. Sometimes I think I have to rest from all that perfectness around me.

My wife has just made the new pair of earrings. They're beautiful with a nice modern look I like. You can see them at the photo above. Now she's making a necklace to the suit. Sometimes she amazes me with her works. I like it. And those calm evenings like that one.

X. Twardowski has died today. Just a while ago they told. He was a very saintly poet and priest. I saw him a few times in Warsaw as he was saying a low mass. Everything they could say about him seems so small. But it's a pity someone important has gone. My successive authority has gone. Like the next sign of the passed childhood. We're growing and authorities become unnecessary. One day they die. We become authorities. Life cycle.